Heavenly World...

*/me
Prince Song
7th July 83
Singapore
Currently Working For My Dad

"This is me in my castle..my world.."

Most frens cal mi "song"..i do haf lots of nicks..like beckham,prince,boiboi,pig n my fav "songsong"!!..hehe..
Well..most of time,im a happy-go-lucky boiboi, sumone who reali treasure freedom alot (n i do mean alot alot!!)..like to play ard & dun wish to grow up so fast :P
Enjoy chit chatting, KPO-ing..oh ya..n im veri veri vain..like to look in mirror alot & like to say myself handsome..a real beckham freak!!
Like partying n hanging out wif my "useless" grp of frens..even we rot hrs at our fav place juz 4 a drink n chat :)
Totally doesnt like being controlled at all or being framed..n i noe at times i do haf my temper but i alreadi change abit le..at least 4 e better..
Hey my frens, im trying to do my best for tis blog. Will make changes to my template everydae. Be patient with mi :)

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*/links

3:04 AM
Tuesday, October 31, 2006

i guess...i seriously have a veri big prob...one tat reali no one can help mi...cos alot times my frens had tried to tok to me...but all fail fail fail...seem tat all have gif up on me on tat...i cant agree totally its my fault but...i cant help it...im liddat since poly...its like its in mi for so long...tat kind of mentality...or maybe...more of phobia...

well...u seee...eversince tat breakup in poly...i haf tis mentality tat ALL...ya..i mean i reali tink tat all my relationships will end in tears...im like...kind of having phobia of getting attached...and i do agree tat tis mentality has reali land me in reali serious shit b4...

for afew times after poly...i was like quite close with a number of gals...of cos i cant name them out...my reali close pals will noe...those who had been thru wif me...i agree...tat some of e gals are reali reali gd..reali nice...they make reali gd galfrens or even wife...but e thing is...im scare...when i start to get reali close...or if i noe i might haf a liking for them or they haf some liking for me...i will move away...hide...i will take a step backwards...

i duno hw mani pple will actuli understand wat im tryin to say...im afraid of falling for someone...or start a relationship with anyone...im scare...till now...i still dun dare to do anitin...maybe wat i haf been thru over e yrs reali cast a shadow on mi...hmm...i noe i did hurt afew people b4 with tis stupid thinking of mine but i cant help it...im scare...tats e truth...im like having a phobia...real bad one...can anyone help me with tat? i doubt so...so mani yrs le...so mani scoldings...naggings...im still e same...still e same weird behaviour....

well...i cant believe i actuli blog tis out...cos its in me for soooo long and i seldom tok about it unless wif afew close pals...now im like..making it public....cant believe i actuli did tat...but i was hoping like...maybe someone out there can tok mi out of tis thinking...and also hope tat my frens can understand me abit more better...stop asking me y i dun wanna haf gfs or y i dun go after her etc etc etc...im stuck...dun gif mi more pressure...i hate it...

anyway...enuff of my stupid nonsense...hmmm...i do appreciate people who are there at e rite moment when i reali needed them...ya...and i mean i reali reali appreciate...for me...i seldom open up to anyone now...my probs..everytin..i keep it to myself...have been taking everytin and handling everytin myself since...i tink for at least a year...i seldom complain...nor get angry nor anitin...when im stressed up...i at most say tat im stressed...nutin much...

but...2dae...was different...i msg her...tat im felt so drained by work..n its tearing mi up...and i oso say tat i understand fully how life is etc etc...and tat i seldom complain or gif up or even tok to anione about how stress my life is...i keep to myself...but....in juz 6 smses...i almost break into tears...e one tat touched mi e most was...

"no wories i wil alwaz b here 2 let u my ears n shoulder...although i dun go thru ur certain situation but i do noe hw tough wk can be..."

goohhsss...i seriously almost break down when i see tis msg...im touched..reali touched...i noe tat alot pple say to me b4 sumtin like tis...but nutin beats tis msg...cos i reali wanted comfort at tat moment...and it came juz at e rite moment...reali touched my heart...e feeling...so warm...

e 1st part..."alwaz b here" was enuff to fill my eyes...then...people always say ears...but wat i nid most is a shoulder...cos i dun like to tok much bout my stuffs...and then e 2nd part...she noe tat i cant put to words wat my job is totally about..she noe shes not in my shoes...she cant feel wat i haf gone thru...but...true enuff...i agree tat work can reali reali be v.tough....i reali cant describe wat i felt when i read e msg...but i was like...hapi with tears...

juz when tat moment when i was on my way home after yet another sucky day....there she is...with e rite msg to me...im glad...im reali hapi...e msg makes my day....i reali reali appreciate her presence...i noe she shld not be e one worryin about me at tis moment...but she still manage to squeeze out some concern for me esp wats she goin thru now...i will look after her i promise..i will not bring her anymore trouble or worries...i doubt she read my blog...but still...i wanna thanks her...reali appreciate to have her in my life now...

Thanks..for being there at e rite moment...e concern i have felt..from u to me..its more than enough as compare to anything else...i promise...to give you e best in future...

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